ManBrows

Today was the beginning of a strange day. W. 4th is apparently full of weirdoes, maybe it’s the IFC on the corner, or the Adult novelty store right next to the subway entrance. Whatever it is, this is a day of weird.


Walking to work a guy was hightailing after me, basically walking 2 inch. behind me. I listen to music so I couldn't hear him, nor choose to hear people. I look angry for a reason. But apparently this is an invitation for weirdoes to approach.

So, he gets my attention, I pull out an 'earbud' and he politely asks me if I generally know how to use tweezers. I think, um, are you kidding? So, trying not to belittle his question I briefly explain to him how to use tweezers, I’m all for educating people. But it did not end here. He then proceeds to ramble off in a very Woody Allenesque tone about how he made a bet with his friend, how he had to tweeze his eyebrows like a woman's (pointing to mine the whole time) and that he was embarrassed to go to a salon. (This is where I think this is NY, I can't imagine a man getting his eyebrows thinned is that out of the ordinary)

Regardless, he continues spouting out his dilemma flailing hand gestures all over the place and finally gets to the point, he says "I have some tweezers on me" "Would you be willing to do it for me" "I'll pay you for your time" and this is when I smile, tell him I have to get to work and proceed to walk away. He said thanks anyway and gave me the thumbs up. What I want to know, is how someone can casually ask a random stranger to pluck their eyebrows and then to make it seem normal, offer them money. Yeah, let me think about this one, um, no. I love this city but I don’t love other people's body hair. Ew.

Moral: Men are not educated enough about metro sexuality being norm, educate them through a serious of diagrams

It is ok for men to want to expunge dirt from their faces see below:

It is also ok for men to want to keep their dark cirles to a minimum with the use of an eye mask

I Heart Bill Nye because he reminds me of a funnier Mister Wizard

There is nothing more entertaining that a Science guy for kids getting a standing ovation at 1:30 and then have half his audience walk out on him later that day.

According to the linked article "The Emmy-winning scientist angered a few audience members when he criticized literal interpretation of the biblical verse Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.”

I don't know who Mr. Godsey is.

He pointed out that the sun, the “greater light,” is but one of countless stars and that the “lesser light” is the moon, which really is not a light at all, rather a reflector of light.
A number of audience members left the room at that point, visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence.
“We believe in a God!” exclaimed one woman as she left the room with three young children."

I like how the woman who left said she believes in "a" God, not thee God. Seriously, what kind of religious nut is she if she can't even devote herself to practicing semantics. All good Christians know that God is THE God not A God. Very much like pro-abortion. We all do love to kill babies.

It is a sad day when people shun Bill Nye, my superhero.

Moral: Do not be upset with the science guy, he is just being honest

Update: People still selling religious crap on eBay

You too can own your very own religiously affiliated, blessed by god, full of the blood of jesus, marked by the 666 beast, seashell.

Things you can do with said seashell:

1. Recite after me: She sells seashells by the seashore

2. Put seashell up to ear and listen

3. Throw seashell on ground after realizing there was a crab inside who is now gnawing on your ear

4. Caress the seashell much like the way Lenny carressed the mouse

5. Paint really gawdy zodiac signs on said seashell and sell by the seashore to tourists who visit shore every year

6. Sell seashell on eBay as having remarkable resemblance to religious character(s) of your choice

When are people going to realize that eBay is not their religious bidding ground.

Go outside, get some wood, carve baby jesus into it and then sell it on the side of the road out of a make-shift shanty, that leans in one direction and is rickety in the wind. Also, a very long, gray, matted beard is required for this, shakey hands and shifty eyes are optional.

Lets keep eBay clean of religious affiliation.

More paraphenilia found on eBay to satisfy your inner jesus desires to religiously consume.

Talking Jesus, press his heart (which ironically is on his wrist) and he says 12 different phrases. You can also own your very own Moses, with two tablets strapped to his hands. Let's see what amendment will rip those suckers down.

and and and, it doesnt get any better unless you have one of these inspiration items that you can use in the event that evil plunges you in the deep pits of darkness.....

Mine too, lordja, lordja! Can I get an estimate on how many amps jesus uses? Is it going to spike my electricity bills, if you express the same concerns, please, use only a little bit of Jesus light, he can be very expensive at times. Especially when CON ED HAS A MONOPOLY OVER THE CITY!