You too can own your very own religiously affiliated, blessed by god, full of the blood of jesus, marked by the 666 beast, seashell.
Things you can do with said seashell:
1. Recite after me: She sells seashells by the seashore
2. Put seashell up to ear and listen
3. Throw seashell on ground after realizing there was a crab inside who is now gnawing on your ear
4. Caress the seashell much like the way Lenny carressed the mouse
5. Paint really gawdy zodiac signs on said seashell and sell by the seashore to tourists who visit shore every year
6. Sell seashell on eBay as having remarkable resemblance to religious character(s) of your choice
When are people going to realize that eBay is not their religious bidding ground.
Go outside, get some wood, carve baby jesus into it and then sell it on the side of the road out of a make-shift shanty, that leans in one direction and is rickety in the wind. Also, a very long, gray, matted beard is required for this, shakey hands and shifty eyes are optional.
Lets keep eBay clean of religious affiliation. 
More paraphenilia found on eBay to satisfy your inner jesus desires to religiously consume.
Talking Jesus, press his heart (which ironically is on his wrist) and he says 12 different phrases. You can also own your very own Moses, with two tablets strapped to his hands. Let's see what amendment will rip those suckers down.
and and and, it doesnt get any better unless you have one of these inspiration items that you can use in the event that evil plunges you in the deep pits of darkness.....
Mine too, lordja, lordja! Can I get an estimate on how many amps jesus uses? Is it going to spike my electricity bills, if you express the same concerns, please, use only a little bit of Jesus light, he can be very expensive at times. Especially when CON ED HAS A MONOPOLY OVER THE CITY!
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