Holy mother of cheesy kids sitcom stars wallowing in their own death!
Screech from, do I even need to tell you where Screech is from??? Saved by the bell kiddies! SCREECH apparently is a po' mofo, he can't even afford the last two letters in poor, is selling t-shirts to save his house that he will lose because those Saved by the bell DVDs don't sell themselves these days.
His website http://getdshirts.com/get_your_dshirts.html Dshirts, standing for Dustin Diamond (perhaps a combo of his first pet and street he grew up on) are shirts that you can buy to bail that post-teenage sitcom survivor from losing the itty bitty amount of dignity that he has left. Oh wait, no, I was wrong, for $5 extra you can have his signature on the shit.
Now considering $20 for a shirt and an autograph is a steal considering shirts these days are quite the pricey pieces of sheep, i still somehow feel as though if i were to purchase said t-shirt it wouldn't be a charitable tax write-off. Can someone verify this for me???
Dear IRS,
Remember that show with all those wacky kids who went to Bayside high and who never grew up except when the show was faultering and they needed to send them off to college? Yeah, that one. Well, the classic Nerd character, Screech, managed to get his ass in a bit of a pinch, messed up his credit, and is about to lose his house, so he is trying to sell me a t-shirt to earn some cash. Does bailing out has been child stars qualify as a charitable write-off? No? What if the shirt had an autograph on it? Why are you laughing?
Sincerely,
I heart the College years
Well, on a lighter side, Dustin Diamond can take up a career in porn if his t-shirt factory fails him miserably. As interviewed on Howard Stern, Screech most likely wasn't getting any action from Kelly, Lisa, or Jessie because of his enormous *ahem* as discussed here-> http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/06/the_legend_of_s.html
No wonder there arent any banal teen sex scenes, shower scenes, nerd getting clothes stolen sequences in Saved by the Bell, the whole cast would have run for the hills.
It is a sad day when the least favorite character on a sitcom that died many years previously is in a poor state. Maybe him and Stephanie Tanner (formerlly recovering from her meth addiction) can start a Brady Bunchesque variety show or even swindle their way onto a PBS telethon, Stephanie is quite familiar with these to save WAke up San Francisco.
GAH!
Moral: Don't eff your credit up!
Meanwhile, in case you just need to be forefed more info from the cast of Saved by the Bell
http://www.tv.com/tracking/viewer.html?tid=92720&ref_id=457&ref_type=101&tag=headlines;title;0
Lisa Turtle can also get on the bandwagon variety show!
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