Frequent Flyer miles have new meaning

It is a sad day when the country is in debt from credit cards. It is an even sadder day when the country is in debt from credit cards but have the most fabulous pair of breasts.

You too can get your very own free boob job just by signing up for the credit card- Plastic Assets.

"Hey mom, I've just graduated High School, I'm ready to take on the world, now all I need is to establish some credit to get me on my way and some killer boobs to make bargaining easier."

And and and, for every friend you refer you get FREE LIP INJECTIONS. Holy shit, life cant be this great. Now you can lusciously invite all your investors over to check our your credit card rewards. Pissing your parents money away couldn't be any easier.

Please find the card that is most applicable to you:
(as indicated by the website:)

The application includes questions such as what is your current cup size as well as desired cup size and then asks you to categorize your breast shape from the following options:
Round, Teardrop, or Crescent

What the hell is a crescent boob? One that is only partially on in the shape of the moon???? Those are some sad looking boobs.

You can earn 'FeelGoodPoint' instead of turning in your 1 point for everyone $1000 you spend on crappy plastic things that should make you feel special inside you can with the Plastic Assets card redeem surgeries, neverending fun for everyone! AND YOU CAN EARN REWARDS FOR KEEPING YOUR GPA UP! Crack open those books, you're on your way to a new nose, some lipo, and an extra set of breast, just in case your first set falls off or turns into crescent moons.

Testimonial:

Every father knows his daughter well enough to know she needs PLASTIC ASSETS!

Don't just sit there get your plastic assets now and you're on your way to elevated success on and off the street. (whatever you want it to mean)

Plastic Assets: Your new implants may/may not contain shards of unused plastic assets cards- be one with your credit!